is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
