woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She bit a glass in half.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
