drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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