omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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