We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
