I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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