Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
