a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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