There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
