So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
