i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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