I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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