You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
