No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just found puke in my bra..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
