Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
