Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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