Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
