i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
