Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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