I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
