i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
