I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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