If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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