just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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