I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
