Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
