You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
