I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
