k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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