the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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