She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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