we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
All I want is dick and wine.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
