____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
