i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
