"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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