she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
