There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
