He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
