how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
