I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You smell like stripper and shame
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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