Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
