OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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