I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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