I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
