I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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