I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
