Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
