Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
