pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
