belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
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