She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
