I will die if light touches me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
