i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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