do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
last night I used snow as a chaser
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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